Not for the faint of heart
This one isn't for the squeamish. I'm serious here. Off colour humour follows. You've been warned. I'll even insert a break here, so I don't feel guilty about what's to come.
I'm not going to be "that guy". The one that has kids then cannot stop talking about how everyone should totally have kids even though they'll never be as awesome as his kids. That guy's kind of annoying. But I also want to write a lot of this stuff down before I forget about it, it's not always going to be like this and I want to remember it. Maybe you'll enjoy reading about it too.